


Nothing beats the fear of realising your admirer is a murderer

by Brimstone_and_Roses



Series: When life becomes so dull you agree to a date with Kawakami Bansai, you know you're fucked [2]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Confessions, M/M, My brain didn't want me to write this so I just beat it with a stick till it threw up the words, Rare Pair, Spoilers for Shinsengumi Crisis arc, Yamazaki centric, Yamazaki deserves love, apologetic Bansai, mentions of GinHiji, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26981752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brimstone_and_Roses/pseuds/Brimstone_and_Roses
Summary: Yamazaki Sagaru was as plain as boiled white rice, yet somehow he found himself with a letter asking him on a date. The only question; from who?
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki, Kawakami Bansai/Yamazaki Sagaru
Series: When life becomes so dull you agree to a date with Kawakami Bansai, you know you're fucked [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975984
Comments: 9
Kudos: 29





	Nothing beats the fear of realising your admirer is a murderer

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know if I ship this, i just woke up and suddenly there were 5k words on a page. 
> 
> Bansai seems really ooc, I know, but hey I tried and he's really just impossible to write. 
> 
> Note: i know this ship wouldn't work in canon. I just write it because it can make some fun ideas.

_"I must admit, I have had a change of mind. Your song... I want to listen to it a little longer. Live on, and I am looking forward to the day when I can listen to the continuation of it, I daresay. You want to live, so continue singing for me.." ___

__\---_ _

__Those words still hung heavy in Yamazaki Sagaru's mind. Over and over again it played on repeat without fail. To Yamazaki, it truly did feel like their encounter was only yesterday. The squelch of a sword piercing his guts, the gruesome aching pain pulsing throughout his body as the sword was ripped right back out, the smug tone of that traitor Itou, and that damn beautiful bastard Bansai. He could remember every moment in excruciating detail of that day._ _

__In reality, several months had passed since the incident regarding Itou and the Kiheitai, and to most it had went forgotten or simply pushed to the back of their minds as an unwanted memory. Not Yamazaki. Don't get me wrong here, he really did try to erase the memories of the assassin from that day, but his efforts remained in vain. There was just no luck, he was stuck with the act of mercy- or perhaps more likely an act of pity- bothering him to no end._ _

__Restless nights became the norm, and what little sleep he did manage to get was plagued by the face of Kawakami Bansai. Without fail, night after night, he would himself just standing there in his dreams with the motionless musical murderer merrily eying him up without a word in his dreams. Every attempt to strike up a conversation with him only ever ended with Bansai turning away just as he did back in the forest just as Yamazaki woke up in a cold sweat._ _

__The bags under his eyes were just as noticeable as they were after a month-long stakeout surviving on anpan and milk, and that unfortunately didn't go undetected by his superiors. He would get daily comments from Sougo poking fun at him, asking what he'd been doing all night to end up with such an exhausted look on his face. Kondo would occasionally bug him to question if he'd been having any troubles keeping him up at night, but Yamazaki wouldn't dare speak up about those dreams. After all, he was supposed to be finding a way to track down and kill the Kiheitai, not spend hours awake at 2am thinking about one of them._ _

__"Oi, Yamazaki," once again, the barking voice of the demonic vice commander was being directed towards him. It was said vice commander that most often called him out for the drowsiness weighing down on his eyelids. Hijikata never failed to catch anyone slacking off, so it really should've been expected when Yamazaki kept dozing off for a few moments at a time during a meeting that he'd be getting another scolding._ _

__"Sorry, Hijikata-san. I didn't get the best sleep last night."  
"I can see that. Now keep your eyes open for the rest of the meeting or it's seppuku for you, got that?"  
"Of course. Sorry again, Hijikata-san."_ _

__And so the regular meeting continued, Yamazaki somehow putting in even more effort to keeping his eyes from falling shut than before. It didn't help that the topic was more dull than watching paint dry. Seriously, it was the exact same crap as the last time! Edo had never been more uneventful. At this point, Yamazaki would have even been grateful for the appearance of some Joui rebels or even another visit from everyone's least favorite odd jobs guy just to keep him from collapsing from the despair._ _

__Apparently there were some rumours floating around that Takasugi had been seen about the city and was planning on an attack, but that wasn't anything revolutionary. Considering that had been the report for literal weeks at this point, Yamazaki somehow found it hard to believe anything would be happening any time soon._ _

__"Also, there has been a report from the Yorozuya boss that he may have spotted Kawakami Bansai hanging around the barracks a few days ago late at night." With that comment from Kondo, Yamazaki suddenly wasn't feeling so tired._ _

__A few others were whispering about why the Yorozuya was hanging around late at night anyways, but Yamazaki wasn't too concerned about that. After all, he was fully aware of the reason Gintoki so often visited the barracks. His many sleepless nights had led to hearing some unfortunate noises coming from the vice commander's room that he'd much prefer to forget given the opportunity. Besides, it wasn't like either of them were making any active efforts to hide it._ _

__But anyways, his attention was on the name mentioned. Kawakami Bansai. Why the hell was he showing up at the Shinsengumi barracks of all places? God, Yamazaki could only hope and pray that the assassin hadn't changed his mind and was planning on finishing him off.._ _

__He considered raising his hand to request a break from work for a few days just to get himself reorganised and refreshed, however before he could so much as raise a finger Hijikata was already throwing out orders to the other officers._ _

__"Yamazaki. You're on patrol duty for the day."  
Yamazaki really could've done with the day off. A day of patrolling around the city after hardly any sleep? No thank you. He was already struggling to keep his eyes open during a half an hour morning meet-up; a whole day wandering around in 25° heat with nothing to entertain himself was going to be pure hell. No badminton, no time to take a nap, just hours alone listening to petty complaints from strangers about their daily woes._ _

__\---_ _

__And so, his day was spent dodging about between streets, occasionally running into an acquaintance or two. For the most part, it wasn't the worst. Not an overwhelming amount of unnecessary whining from the citizens of Edo, and he did run into Shinpachi at some point too. That conversation managed to last for all of about ten minutes before Shinpachi was getting dragged off by his exasperating man-child of a boss to go and help out with some minor job. Not that Yamazaki envied him. After hearing the sounds coming from Hijikata's room the previous nights, he couldn't look the Yorozuya in the eyes again. Yeah, patrol didn't seem too bad of a task today._ _

__Then again, with so much time doing nothing, he had all the more time in the world to let the thoughts of Bansai further stew in his head._ _

__To put it rather bluntly, Kawakami Bansai was a criminal. A renowned assassin working for the Kikeitai, and someone who had gathered quite the name for himself as one of Edo's most wanted. His choice of weapon was a devastating sword hidden in his shamisen, the blade of which Yamazaki had experienced firsthand. Even after a good few months of healing, the remaining scar was still looking rather gruesome and drew out a sharp wince whenever touched._ _

__However, he somehow still didn't detest every fibre and atom of Bansai's very being. After all, at the end of the day he had still went against orders to spare his life. He had to have some humanity in him to do that, right? Yamazaki liked to think so at least. He would have been lying to say he didn't feel partly bitter towards him, though. I mean, the guy still almost killed him, some feeling of negativity was only natural._ _

__But above all this, the one part of Kawakami Bansai that the unfortunate Shinsengumi officer just couldn't seem to get out of his head was that damn voice. It was like honey, dripping from his lips with an unmistakable languid beauty. He put no effort into his words and yet he somehow spoke with such a refined silver-tongue. His words were a melody that was quick to become addictive; Yamazaki found himself only wanting to hear those compelling honeyed words far more often than he'd like to admit._ _

__Before Yamazaki could realise, the sun was already setting in the horizon, leaving all sorts of gold and amber tones to sweep across the city. Street lamps were being lit and by now the majority of citizens had returned indoors, most activity now only remaining in the red light districts. Well, time was getting on, so it'd be best to return to the barracks before the usual drunks started pouring out the doors._ _

__It only took around ten or so minutes before he found himself back at the Shinsengumi barracks. Two officers stood by the gate as a look out, and a few others situated elsewhere around the perimeters. After the supposed sighting of the assassin, they sure as hell weren't taking any chances when it came to security._ _

__Yamazaki gave each of them by the gates a wave and friendly smile as he wandered on passed. Neither one of them batted an eye as he passed, almost as if they didn't see him in the first place. Though, to be fair, most people wouldn't have noticed Yamazaki if he stood right in front of them, that was just how plain he was._ _

__At long, long last, the day was over. His room was in sight, only a few feet away. It was already so late, he could practically feeling himself drifting off on his feet. For once he might actually get a decent rest! As long as the Yorozuya wasn't having one of his late night visits with Hijikata and he could have just one night without thoughts of Bansai, he'd be fine!_ _

__Reaching out to the handle of his door, Yamazaki began undoing the jacket of his uniform. However, before even getting the first button undone, he found himself interrupted by the shuffle of another door being pushed open to his side. Hijikata's room. The one leaving the demonic vice commander's room seemed just as surprised to see him. As expected, it was Gintoki, his natural perm just a little more roughed up than usual and his yukata thrown on rather haphazardly._ _

__"Ah, Jimmy-kun, it's been a while," Gintoki slides the shoji behind him, lazy eyes meeting with Yamazaki's.  
"Danna, it's good to see you," not wanting to seem rude, he flashed a bright smile towards the Yorozuya. "Enjoy your night with Hijikata-san?"  
"Good as ever," chuckles the perm head, taking a quick side glance back towards the door he'd just exited. "Your boss really knows how to please Gin-san, you know?"_ _

__That was really quite the opposite of what the unlucky officer was wanting to hear. He was hoping for a quick 'hello, goodbye' without any extra information, but of course Gintoki just had to make some inappropriate comment on his boss.  
"That's, uh, nice. But you might want to leave before Sougo-san catches you hanging around outside Hijikata-san's room- he'll never let you live it down if he does," Yamazaki attempted a lighthearted laugh, but couldn't help inwardly cringing instead at the mere thought of his boss and the Yorozuya going at it. Not the thoughts he wanted just before heading off to sleep. Gross._ _

__"Ah, Souichiro-kun already knows. He tried giving me BDSM advice when he first caught us, but I really didn't need-"  
"Sorry, I really need to get going now, have a safe trip home, danna!" Avoiding any further mentally scarring comments, Yamazaki rather forcefully pulled over the shoji behind him as he stumbled into his room. Gintoki was left somewhat stunned outside having just been so rudely interrupted, but shortly after turned on his heels and began to make his way back out of the barracks and towards the odd jobs store he considered home._ _

__Overwhelmingly glad to be out of that painfully awkward situation, Yamazaki shrugged off his jacket and threw it into the corner of his room. He had never been one to leave clothes strewn about the floor, but at the moment he couldn't help himself. The enticing call of his futon was all too inviting, drawing him closer as he removed his stiff uniform piece by piece._ _

__Stripped down to nothing but his boxers, he couldn't even be bothered to find a pair of pyjamas to change into, instead opting to sleep half naked as is. Yamazaki shuffled further down into his futon, pulling the covers up further till his face was just hardly exposed. Hardly even five minutes passed before he was flat out._ _

__\---_ _

__Tonight's dream was different._ _

__Not by much, but still ever so slightly different. He still stood in the empty darkness of the void, familiar figure of Bansai staring across from him with starved and hungry eyes and a brittle smirk, however this time there was a voice to accompany the appearance._ _

__"Sagaru-dono," the voice was far more soft-spoken than that night in the forest, almost to the point of being a comforting whisper, though it still carried that distinctive modulated tone. "I've been searching for you, Sagaru-dono."  
"You-"_ _

__Without a further word, Bansai turned on his heels, that thin set smile still playing at his lips. And so, completing it as he did with every other dream, Bansai left. His body melted seamlessly into the inky abyss surrounding them, sauntering away into the far distance till Yamazaki was once again left alone._ _

__\---_ _

__Yamazaki found himself gasping awake with the sound of a startling thud, a cold sweat sticking any loose hair to his forehead. There was an uneasy feeling residing in his gut, but he couldn't quite place a finger on it. Whatever this uncomfortable sensation was, Yamazaki wasn't a fan. It was the sort of eerie shiver you'd get with the foreboding impression that perhaps you were being watched by someone just out of your sight. Or the creeping sensation of a spider crawling its way up your back._ _

__One glance at the clock residing by his futon and Yamazaki's face scrunched up in irritation. Really, four in the morning was not the time he wanted to be up. With a day off planned for today, he was fully prepared to have a lie in as late as he felt like. Getting so little sleep lately had taken a serious toll on his energy and Yamazaki was determined not to let it interfere with his first break in weeks. Not even that sadist brat of a commander was going to ruin this day!_ _

__Face shoved back into the pillow, he screwed shut his eyes and yanked the blankets back up over his body. Just another 4 hours. That's all he wanted._ _

__\---_ _

__Holy shit._ _

__For the first time in only god knows how long, Yamazaki woke up feeling refreshed with over 8 hours of sleep. The clock was reading 9:13- a time he'd never thought he'd wake up to see again. Weeks of 5:30am alarms was just far too much for the officer to handle. That moment he could have screamed in ecstasy, but instead he just lay there in silence with a pleasant smile tugging at his lips._ _

__Yeah, that was it. He could just lay down and smile like that without any demonic screeching from Hijikata or whining from some random old lady on the street. Just him alone. Nobody but Yamazaki and himself, and that letter on the floor that he didn't remember being there last night._ _

__Oh for fucks sake! The one day he got a break was the one day he ended up with some fucking death threat at his door. God fucking dammit. Who was he kidding thinking that he'd ever get a single day's break!_ _

__Sougo! It must have been Sougo, right? He left death threats on Hijikata's doorstep almost daily, perhaps he had just gotten the doors mixed up that night. Ah, no, no, he wouldn't make a mistake like that, not when it involved threatening the vice chief. Perfect, just perfect! Time to see what life had in store for the day, then._ _

__Actually, on second glance.. There was a rose neatly placed just beside the ominous letter, and when he got closer Yamazaki noticed the not-so-threatening heart drawn onto the envelope. If this was what he thought it was, his day was about to take a sudden turn for the great. A love letter?! Oh wow, this was incredible! Even in school Yamazaki had never gotten a confession from any girls before. Maybe some girl on the street had taken a liking to him.. Whoever it was, he was stoked._ _

__Could it have been Tama? Or maybe some super cute girl that worked in one of those hostess bars. Hell, even if it was a guy Yamazaki was pretty open to it! A grin from ear to ear spreading across his face, he feverishly snatched up the letter and tore away the envelope with the excitement of a child on Christmas. The handwriting was flawless, each letter of every word in perfect cursive. The wording was almost poetic, a song that went directly to Yamazaki's heart._ _

__There was a location and time written down near the bottom of the letter. It was dated to today for 9pm at the nearby park, followed by a question mark. Clearly some kind of invitation for a date! Now, who was it from? He scanned through the rest of the contents of the confession, face flushing a few shades pinker as he did so, till finally he reached the signature._ _

__He had at least expected a name to refer to his mystery admirer by, surely, but instead he was greeted with nothing more than initials! The letters 'KB' were signed at the bottom of the page in purple ink. Now he was seriously stumped. He wasn't sure of anyone with the initials 'KB'. Maybe it really was someone he didn't know personally.. Ah, to hell with it! He was just grateful to have received it in the first place._ _

__Now I'm sure any of you reading this can quite easily put one and one together to figure out who sent this letter. However, the poor hopeless romantic Yamazaki never saw it coming. Even with the signed initials staring directly up at him from the page, the thought of the Kiheitai's murderous master musician writing such a heartfelt confession (for someone like him, no less!) never once crossed his mind as so much as a possibility._ _

__Twirling the rose inbetween the tips of his fingers, Yamazaki couldn't help the obnoxiously wide grin on his face. It smelled sweet, with the freshness of a well-tended garden that was just incomparable to any flower he'd seen before. Just the heavenly scent alone was enough to fill his world with all shades of pink and cherry blossoms like some shitty 80's shoujo manga. The letter hugged tightly to his chest, Yamazaki giggled in a giddy excitement._ _

__Oh what was he going to wear! He had the whole day off, so maybe he could go out and buy a new outfit before his date? Ah, on second thought maybe not. He didn't want to risk his mystery date not liking his clothes, so it may have been his best bet to stick with the usual kimono and hakama ensemble he so often wore. Thankfully he'd gotten it all washed last night to wear for his day off, so it was already hung up in the wardrobe towards the back of his room. He could already tell, this day was going to go off without a hitch._ _

__By 9:30 he was already fully dressed and on his way out, only a mere 20 minutes after waking up. The letter rolled up and kept away in his pocket and rose in his hand, Yamazaki was practically skipping out of his room. He got a questioning look or two from other officers wandering about the premises as he hummed along to some imaginary tune, but not even questioning from the vice commander was going to spoil his ecstatic mood._ _

__"Oi, Yamazaki!" Speak of the devil, there he was. Hijikata Toushiro, in the flesh.  
"Ah, vice-commander! Wonderful weather this morning isn't it!" Yamazaki hummed with glee, pausing to speak with Hijikata. He couldn't help but gloat a little about his success too, waving around the rose by his face with a confident beam._ _

__Of course, the vice-commander took one look towards the flower and quirked a suspicious brow. "And where'd you get that?"  
"Oh, you know, just a secret admirer.. They must have come round during the night to drop it off for me 'cause they were too scared to do it in person!"  
As thrilled as Yamazaki was, the vice commander didn't appear to believe a word of it. "You sure it's not another prank from Sougo? There were no reports of any visitors last night," he informed matter-of-factly._ _

__No visitors? How else would that letter have found its way into his room, though? Sure, Sougo was definitely the type of person to do something mocking and cruel like that, but Yamazaki had heard that the commander was out on patrol all night and took no detours before returning to his own room. "I'm sure, Hijikata. Besides, if there were no visitors then what about that Gin-"  
Hijikata abruptly interrupted him with a cough as if rather aggressively clearing his throat. "Whatever. Get on with what you were doing, just don't come crying back to me when it turns out your 'secret admirer' isn't real."  
"It's definitely real, though! I can feel it, I know it!"_ _

__Hijikata rolled his eyes and shook out another of the mayoboros from the packet. "Good for you then," he held the cigarette to his lips and flicked on his lighter. Inhaling, he slipped the lighter and packet back into his pocket. A thin wavering stream of smoke poured from his lips as he exhaled, giving a wave of his hand as he began to head off._ _

__"See you later then, Hijikata-san!" Yamazaki returned the farewell gesture and bounded off towards the exit. He found it difficult to believe that none of the officers on duty last night had managed to miss anyone visiting early that morning. Considering how lazy so many people were, it was more than likely that they had simply not reported it. After all, it wasn't like any regular person could have crept past the entirety of the Shinsengumi when they were on such high alert._ _

__\---_ _

__The streets were quiet that day. The sun provided a gentle warm glow, casting ribbons of gold and faint hues of pink throughout the streets and into any open windows. Every now and then Yamazaki would be passed by a group of laughing kids playing amongst themselves or someone walking their dog around town. Overall, it was a day without flaw. Hell, he'd already forgotten all about his little dream (or more accurately, nightmare) from last night, thank god._ _

__His especially bright eyes and ear-to-ear grin drew a peculiar look or two from some, but others returned the smile, a few even making a small comment along the lines of 'your day must be going well'. One in particular to notice his beaming expression was none other than the Yorozuya's kid, dog leash in hand and pickled seaweed poking out from between her lips._ _

__"Jimmy," she greeted warmly, "why are you smiling so much? You look even creepier than normal- you better not be going to spy on our Tama!"  
"Good afternoon, Kagura-chan," ignoring the insulting comment, Yamazaki gave a short wave to both the girl and her canine companion. "I'm not headed to the Yorozuya, don't worry. In fact, I have something exciting going on tonight I must attend to!" _ _

__His gloating was met with a disbelieving glare and hum of suspicion. "Like I believe that! You make it sound like someone as boring as you has a date!"  
Yamazaki scoffed, "but I do!"  
"As if! My mami told me plain old jimmys like you can't get dates." Kagura stuck her tongue out in a childish manner, "The damn sadist probably pranked you."  
"It wasn't the captain! My secret admirer is very real, thank you very much!"_ _

__Before Kagura got so much as a chance to slip another word in, the officer was already off on his way down the street, scurrying off like a pathetic squeaking mouse. As she watched him hurry off in a huff, Kagura realised just what Yamazaki was. An idiot. No way on this earth- or any other planet for that matter- could someone as cowardly and sheepish as him get a date. It was most definitely a prank from the sadist bastard, poor Jimmy-kun here was just too blinded by his own emotions to see it._ _

__And so he was back on track. Ten minutes till he reached the destination stated on the letter. He'd already checked it over at least three times in the past ten minutes, practically bursting with a giddy child-like wonder. His excitement was difficult to contain, easily spotted by the particularly joyous pep in his step and dreamy expression staring off longingly in the direction of the park. Life couldn't get him down, not tonight._ _

__Nearing the park, a faint sound was growing louder with each step. The strings of an instrument. A guitar, perhaps? Some street artist performing? No, it was far too late for that, and it didn't quite sound like a regular guitar. It was a sound he was well-acquainted to, but still so strangely unfamiliar. He'd heard this sound a lot recently, now he was thinking about it. The plucking of strings, melodic and smooth. He enjoyed it._ _

__It only grew louder the closer he got to the meeting spot on the letter, and it finally dawned on him. It was a traditional shamisen! His mystery date was the one playing such a beautiful tune! Ah, but who? After hearing such music for so long, surely he'd at least have some idea of who the artist may be. Especially with a shamisen. He hardly saw those being played out in the street any more, the only one he could remember to play such an instrument was-_ _

__Oh._ _

__Oh no._ _

__The music was clear as the night sky by this point, Yamazaki standing across from a small shelter tucked away behind clusters of trees. His eyes fell on the man stood there, shamisen in hand, plucking away at the strings._ _

__Kawakami Bansai. Well, goodbye world, Yamazaki Sagaru was no longer. He'd be up in heaven soon enough. It was a trap, everyone had been right! Finally Bansai had returned to finish what was started._ _

__"Ah, Sagaru-dono,"_ _

__A bad dream, yes, it had to be. Yamazaki glanced desperately around for any telltale signs of dreaming, grasping at straws as he made up any cheap excuse as to what and why was happening. Much to his despair, he found none. His teeth weren't falling out, the moon wasn't made of an orange, and the trees didn't appear as if they were made of candy floss. Just for good measure, he made sure to give his hand a sharp pinch, but still he remained face to face with the assassin. This wasn't a dream, nor was it a nightmare. This was certain hell._ _

__"Oh, my apologies, I must've gotten lost on the way back home. I'll be going now!" Yamazaki spun around on his heels, deciding that if he couldn't see the problem, it would simply go away. Apparently, however, that wasn't the case, as the first step he took he was cut short by a tugging at his wrist._ _

__"Sagaru-dono, I'm sure you remember me. I certainly haven't forgotten you, I daresay. Your song has never stopped playing in my mind, it seems to be stuck on loop."  
"A-ah.. Bansai.. I didn't see you there," Yamazaki's voice trembled along with his body, turning with an obvious hesitance towards Bansai. The shamisen had now returned to its usual resting place on his back, and those hands previously playing such intoxicating music were now gripping around his wrist. "Oh- uh.. Funny se-seeing you here, huh? I really must be going, though.. I-uh. I have a date planned, you see-"  
"I am aware."_ _

__Oh crap, he knew.. Bansai knew, it was definitely him! A trap, a god damn trap, he'd been set up. This was his demise, in a public park to the man who had previously spared his life from pity. All he could do was accept this fate. Past experience was enough to know out-running the assassin was just a death wish in and of itself._ _

__A sorry expression found its way to his face, a heavy sigh from the bottom of his very soul finding its way out as he turned around to fully embrace this death. Better to face it head on, after all. If Hijikata found his corpse with a stab wound to the back he'd reanimate him purely so he commit seppuku to atone for allowing his guard to lower around a threat._ _

__Instead, however, as soon as he turned around, he was met with the far-too-close face of Bansai himself, mere inches from his own. The iconic tinted glasses had been pushed up to his head, leaving Yamazaki at the mercy of that all-knowing gaze. Judgment day had arrived, and Yamazaki was suddenly very much aware of his past sins. A hand raised up to the shamisen on Bansai's back, pushing back to top with a click that Yamazaki was quick to realise as the sound of a sword being drawn._ _

__"For you, my date,"_ _

__The officer stared with utter disbelief at the sight before him. This man, this criminal, this murderer, was standing before him with an impossibly soft smile and a rose twirling between his fingertips being held out towards Yamazaki. Jesus christ, this couldn't be happening._ _

__Bansai cleared his throat, insisting Yamazaki take the gift. "Sagaru-dono! Your song has consumed me to the point of no return. I realised some weeks ago that I must act upon this instinct or it will become a hindrance to me in the future. So I must ask of you, would you forgive my unforgivable actions and join me for dinner tonight?"_ _

__Suddenly any feeling of fear was replaced with a paralysing uneasiness. Hearing the Kiheitai's legendary assassin ask so for his forgiveness with unmistakable sincerity just felt so incredibly unlike him. Here was a man renowned for his brutal and merciless methods of getting the job done, asking the human embodiment of plain white rice on a real, genuine date. Was this some cruel joke? Would he suddenly burst into hysterical laughter and pull out his sword?_ _

__Yamazaki waited. He waited for that moment where Bansai revealed his true colours, however the moment never arrived. "You're kidding, right?" breathlessly spluttered Yamazaki. It was returned with an adamant shake of Bansai's head.  
"I know my past actions are unforgivable, however I ask you give me another chance. These past weeks have been unbearable without your song to accompany me, I daresay."_ _

__It was finally beginning to sink in that this guy was for real. What a dilemma to be stuck with.. To accept or reject the offer, that was the question. On second thought, there was no question. If he refused there was a not a doubt in Yamazaki's mind that blood would most certainly be spilled, and not just a few drops. He could at least give it a chance, even if it was only one date._ _

__He reached a cautious hand out towards Bansai, plucking the rose from his fingers. He was all too aware of how wrong this was. He was an officer of the Shinsengumi. He was supposed to enforce the law, not agree to dates with those opposing it. Ah, to hell with it all, this was the most interesting thing to happen to him in his whole damn life. For once he finally had someone's eyes on him. He wasn't being ignored, or mocked, or insulted. If Bansai was the only one willing to give him a chance at romance, it was a risk he was willing to take. What did he have to lose other than his life anyway? "Well," Yamazaki started with a drawl, "I mean.. I don't see why not."_ _

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanna write a one shot of Bansai not realising he's pining and getting romance advice from the Kiheitai members. Cause of course nothing could go wrong getting advice from a psychopath, the psychopath's stalker, and a nonce!


End file.
